There was once a little boy who was told to sit silently facing the corner. The corner had a donkey painted on it, and a speech bubble telling the little boy he was naughty.
The little boy was told to silently face the naughty donkey corner.
He gave the teacher his opinion. The teacher saw his opinion as a challenge to her power, thus the seating arrangement with the donkey. The boy decided in that moment, that he will never use his voice again for fear of being humiliated. This was his way of making sense of the confusing humiliation he experienced. As the boy grew, he associated the use of his voice with his opinion, then his choice and then his meaning. Eventually losing himself.
To resolve and bring balance back from confusing events, children will make their own meaning of the events. As adults we must realise that it doesn’t matter what happened to us, it is all about the meaning we made about what happened.
The meaning we gave to confusing events as children was an effort to cope and bring balance. The analysis and reflection of these childhood meanings helps to bring new understanding of the past, removing victimhood and replacing it with hope, growth and forgiveness. It took me years to realise that I had lost my voice, but it took me just months to get it back! I took action to understand my life, my choices and I chose to own them, because of my ownership I am able to change the meanings I made of my life events. Now, things didn't just happen to me, I am not a victim of my events. I have the ability to change, grow and more importantly exist.
No one took my voice away from me. I gave it away!
I still have moments of silence, but they are mine now. I have chosen these moments to hear, listen and feel. I frame questions in these moments that will lead me to meaningful actions of ownership and existence. I find my voice everyday in everything I do or don't.
I am still silent sometimes, but now I can hear it!